what do you think of my anecdote?
I just wrote it, i didn’t proofread it yet or anything, but what do you think? i’m 16 if that matters….
“YES! Finally free at last! Free from those over-nurturing, over-caring, over-loving humans that love to pamper me too much! Even though I am just so adorable, I’m sure they can’t help it… who’s the man? Who is the MAN? AH! What was that?!… oh, just a tree. We’re cool, we’re cool. Nothing even happened-tree? What tree, what are you talking about?!… ooh what’s that?!”
Merlin has just escaped from the horribly restricting confines of his over-loving home, eager to get some much needed freedom and return to the roots of his existence; the wilderness. Now, even though Merlin was born and raised in a home and was never outside for more than a few hours at a time, he knows that it is where he is really meant to be. And this time, he is going to stay there! No troublesome owner is going to steal him away this time! Merlin, a mere housecat finally free of his confining owners, is going to now be Merlin, the most feared cat in the New Jersey wilderness. Oh yes, this is going to be the start of a new life for Merlin. A life full of hunting and fighting, of gaining respect and courage; no more being handed food and sitting on laps and purring; no, there will be no more purring in Merlin’s future. While it will be a rewarding life, it will not be a life to purr about. He’ll be like Robin Hood, but in cat form; steal from the rich and give to the poor… the only problem is, how could a cat be rich? Or poor?
As Merlin was pondering this enlightening philosophy (already he feels smarter, after just two minutes away from the horrid people that stifle is natural intellect!) he began wandering aimlessly around the yard, wanting to get the most out of his last memory of this house, and the yard that he had so ingeniously escaped into many times; the only difference between those times and this time is that this time, he won’t be coming back. Suddenly, he came across a tunnel, just big enough for him to comfortably walk through. It seemed like fate; an adventure just exciting enough for him to, years from now, proudly call his first in a line of many; an adventure worthy to tell his grandchildren about. He excitedly, and without thinking, started to run down the tunnel as fast as he could. He didn’t care about what might be living in here – why should he? Whatever could be hiding inside this dark, creepy tunnel would be nothing for him! Oh yes, this new life would be very exciting indeed. And very easy too…
Suddenly there was a noise to his left. He jumped so high, his head hit the top of the tunnel. What could that be? A bug, a mole? Or maybe worse… a rat?! Oh no, what if it hurts him? Or even worse – messes up his shiny, beautiful fur?! He hadn’t thought about that. But, after waiting a good 15 seconds with his eyes open wide and in his ‘ready for anything’ stance, he decided it was nothing and kept going, but slower this time. There was no reason to make all that noise, right? He would just keep it cool, not freak out.
But then, out of nowhere, he got very tired. That’s the life of a cat, he supposed – he had never been able to stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time, and it must have been three hours by now! He couldn’t believe it – his first day on his own and his stamina was already improving! He supposed it couldn’t hurt to just lay down for awhile… it’s not like anything would attack a cat while its sleeping, that would just not be right. So, trying to ignore his grumbling stomach (oh, how he was missing that bowl of food that was waiting for him just inside his home!) he settled down and shut his eyes – but just for 2 minutes, he promised himself.
When Merlin woke up, he looked around and tried to figure out if it was night or day. There seemed to be a little light coming from somewhere, but that could just be a lamp, right? They have those inside cat-sized tunnels, don’t they? Merlin figured, just to find out what time it was, maybe he should go back to the opening and then start over. Maybe he could get some food too while he was there…
So he looked from one direction to the other, trying to remember which way looked familiar. Both looked the same, so he chose the direction from which it seemed like the light was coming. After a long while of walking, and many scary noises, the light was finally starting to get brighter and brighter. He was so happy, he started running – at this point he was so hungry, food was all he could think about – but then a strange thing happened. The light had gotten so bright, it almost seemed like he was outside but then it started fading away again. He was very confused, so he started walking back and forth until he decided he might as well keep going the way he was in the first place. When the light started getting brighter again, his heart raced and his stomach grumbled. But, the same thing happened as before. It was as bright as mid afternoon in the tunnel, bu
It was as bright as mid afternoon in the tunnel, but then it suddenly started to fade again. Confused, he walked back to the brightest part of the tunnel. He then had the brightest idea of his life – what if the way out was by going up?! So he looked up, and saw patches of blue! At last, the way out! Now, how to get there?
After several embarrassing attempts by Merlin to jump, climb, even meow his way up, it just seemed impossible. He was in distress. He hadn’t eaten since he left the house – which now, doesnt seem so much like a jail as it does a palace. What was he thinking, running away from there? He could eat whenever he wanted, and he never got lost! Well, not anymore, anyway. Usually.
Merlin was in distress. Not only did he fail in his attempts to live in his natural environment, he failed on his very first adventure! The same adventure that he had assumed would lead to his eventual stardom! Now it seemed silly and stupid, who wants star
stardom anyway? It’s so much pressure, and other cats never rub your head! Other cats don’t give you food! Other cats don’t let you sit on them! All other cats do is try to steal your fame away from you. He knew this all along, but it seemed so much more glamorous before. When he was free to go anywhere and do anything he pleased, which turned out to have only lasted for a couple hours. Now Merlin doesn’t know where to go or what to do, he haa no food, no water, and no one to tell him how gorgeous he is! This is no way to live!
The only way he can think of to calm his distress is to meow. To complain as loud as he can. To yell at the top of his lungs how much of a disgrace to the feline population he is. To express the surprise he feels that he actually knows the word feline.
Finally, after hours of complaining and yelling and feeling sorry for himself, Merlin looks up to see a shadow over the blue of the sky. A shadow about the size of a grown woman’s head, but a little bigger and
very fuzzy. Suddenly, the shadow disappeared and a familiar sound reached Merlin’s ears – the sound he had heard every night before getting fed. His heart skipped a beat.
The next half hour or so went by in a whirlwind of exciting intensity for Merlin, from finally getting food fed to him through the bars to being pulled out after being showered with bits of hard gray things that didn’t taste very good before seeing the bars be lifted off his prison and being carried, with the gentle arms of the people he had so very little ago hated, into his nice, warm, welcoming, loving home.
:):):):):):) ;D I’d better go before I start to ramble on and on and on and on and on…..HI
